Turning Sour Grapes into Joyful Wine

What the September 10th Presidential Debate Means

You’ll hear a lot of analysis of the blow-by-blow of the September 10th debate, which Kamala Harris clearly won.

She was presidential. He was petulant. She showed poise, warmth, and command. He was angry, bitter, and reactive. She was impressively well-informed and detailed. He was vague and evasive. She was opmistic. He was defensive.

Donald kept rehashing a story of sour grapes.

Kamala showed us how to crush those grapes and turn them into the joyful wine of a better tomorrow.

I believe this debate is going to ultimately win her the election because of the cascade of events that will unfold as a result of it.

The underpinning reason connects to what I saw as most masterful about Kamala’s debate performance, which was her ability to make a clear-eyed, precise, and ruthless examination of the problems with Trump’s leadership without undermining her warm and uplifting call to Americans about what we can accomplish together.

She prosecuted the case against Trump, from his criminal trials to January 6th, with a fierce clarity that rattled him badly. And she kept smiling and offering a human face for the policies she championed.

Trump was not just out debated by Kamala. He was out alpha-ed on the stage. She dominated him psychologically, intellectually, and verbally. She set the frame on exchanges, she baited him off his gameplan, and she effectively exposed his misdeeds.

He was clearly subservient to her alpha, including not once being able to look her in the eyes, instead staring ahead sullen and unsmiling.

Politics is an instinctual business and who we trust as a leader depends on who we trust can wield power well. A debate is not just an exchange of ideas, it’s the testing of the power of one being against the power of another being.

When we witness the defeat of a powerful person in a visceral way, human instinct is to turn to the victor for leadership. Kamala did a great deal in the debate to earn America’s trust that she can wield power well.

Trump offered little but a dysfunctional stew of anger, insult, and fearmongering. He appeared to be a man who recognized that he was being defeated in a humiliating way in front of the American people. That debate will deeply affect people’s minds as it’s literally the first time these two had even met, and Kamala proved to be the alpha dog and dominate him while offering a more optimistic and forward-looking alternative.

That would have been important, even if we’re only thinking about politics. But there was something deeper than a debate victory at play in terms of the implication for American culture and American psychology.

I believe last night was the beginning of the end of American patriarchy on a psychological level. I don’t think a man like Trump will ever make it to the White House again because America is evolving beyond his version of toxic patriarchal leadership.

The debate was good medicine to help us turn the page from a patriarchal America to the promised America, where all of us are truly equal. Collectively, we needed to see a powerful woman not just effectively debate but masterfully dominate the ultimate “alpha male” , a title that Trump has tried to claim. We needed to see the version of masculinity Trump offers (including with all his coarseness, immorality and cruelty) put in its place, not with further cruelty but with clarity and firmness.

America witnessed a kind of gladiator battle in which a confident woman bested the most pugilisitic, wealthy, and attention-dominating male that the Republican party could send into battle. She bested the old-school patriarchy in a decisive way. And she did it with poise, confidence and even some laughter.

That’s why I think what we witnessed was a sign of the beginning of the end of an era. Kamala’s ascent to the White House will mark the end of an era for our counrtry. We can no longer call it a patriarchy with a woman in charge.

And it’s about time.

What I believe America needs more than anything is to have co-equal feminine leadership of our country at all levels. We need more heart-centered, caring values to shift our national psychology. We need more diplomacy, bridge-building and honoring, all of which are key attributes of feminine leadership. We need more thoughtful collaboration rather than belligerent competition.

To make that shift in our national culture real, it’s going to take having a woman President. The good news is that Kamala Harris does not focus on the importance of being the first woman President because she is not interested in the symbolism. She’s focused on ensuring the government does a better job for the American people.

With that said, having the most visible role model for American leadership be a woman is going to be a gamechanger. Especially since she is offering healthy modeling for how to wield power in a clear, wise and effective way without sacrificing warmth, care, and compassion.

Witnessing a different kind of power, wielded by a woman, day in and day out, is going to be truly revolutionary for our country’s culture. It’s going to start to rebalance some things that have long been out of whack.

Judging from media that emerges on the right wing, there are still many men out there who are angry and fearful about the rising power of women in American culture. They feel that they will lose something when women gain an equal standing in our most important collective decisions.

But if I could say one thing to the men out there who openly or secretly fear that future, it would be, “It’s going to be much better for you. Kamala and other women ready for that higher levels of power are not interested in lording power over you or taking advantage of you. They are interested in creating a path forward that is both strong and caring, innovative and inclusive. They want a better future for you and for all of us. Truly. If you can stop fighting it, I am confident you’ll actually enjoy that future more than the present.”

The ending of one era is the beginning of a new one, fresh with possibilities. In that new era, I believe we’re going to create a country that equally honors the contributions, leadership and strengths of both men and women. As we elect the first woman President, I think we have a chance to lead the world in a more integrated and balanced way. As a result, we’re going to become stronger, more prosperous, and more beloved around the world, which in turn will lead to more peace and prosperity.

That future is going to be a wonderful upgrade, I am quite confident.

By embodying a toxic version of the old patriarchal masculinity in the debate tonight and being vanquished by a woman, Trump helped to create an opening for Kamala to light the way forward into a future built on deeper partnership between men and women. There is clear love and respect between her and her husband. There is clear love and respect between her and Joe Biden. There is clear love and respect between her and Tim Walz. She does not diminish them with her power. They adore her. Kamala demonstrates a pathway to a future of collaboration, healing, and respect between men and women at the highest levels of our government.

Right after the debate, it’s no accident that Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala. Who better embodies the ascendent, powerful feminine energy of the world than the most beloved singer in the world? Taylor was effectively speaking the collective voice of women, announcing that a new era is ready to begin as of tonight.

I encourage the men who still fear this sea change to get on board. I assure you that you’ll be happy you did because an upgraded America is going to shine with hope, optimism, and prosperity, which will help you to shine as well. It’s not just going to make America powerful (which it will), it’s also going to make our country happier and more whole.

Tonight it became clear that Kamala Harris is ready to take that ultimate seat of power and wield the power that comes with the role with clarity, strength, and compassion for the good of all Americans.

So thank you, Kamala, for prosecuting the case with grace and demonstrating the righteous use of power.

Thank you for the level of discipline and intelligence required to put in a masterful perfmance like that.

I honor you as an inspiring future President of the United States.