Transformation at the DNC

Why the Second Night is Necessary Viewing

Doug Emhoff’s DNC convention speech on Tuesday should literally be seen by every man before he marries a woman, particularly a strong woman.

Doug offered, through his humorous stories, self-deprecation and authentic devotion, an effective humanization of Kamala and a heartfelt endorsement of her readiness to lead. He offered us the kind of masculine example we now need in our society. It is a masculinity that is secure and does not feel the need to compete with strong women but rather celebrates their shining.

Part of what ails the Republican Party, which has permeated our political culture , is an outdated view of the masculine that fixates it on signals of dominance over the other. This manifests as what we often call “toxic masculinity” but really it’s simply the pattern of the past that we now need to outgrow. It involves attempts to establish power over others to prove strength and virility as a man. It’s an instinctual, survival level of manhood that knocks others down out of fear of their power. We have played it out over millennia and it’s time to move on to a brigher, more evolved possibility for men, one that creates the space to let others rise up to their highest heights.

Doug Emhoff became the embodiment of that change last night.

It was a revelation to have Doug’s bouyant, well-timed sense of humor illuminate the gifts he sees in his wife. He conveyed a tender, loving appreciation AND a funny way of not being intimated by her intensity either. We would be well served to have a substantial portion of American men witness a man who is strong and accomplished himself fully embrace a partnership a more politically powerful female spouse, without that in any way being a threat to his manhood. Integrating that change will help drop further barriers to female leadership, which in itself is essential for humanity now.

The second truly transformational thing for me was the way that Michelle Obama led us through a kind of emotional surgery around hope. She spoke the clear truth that there had been a diminishment of hope in recent years, whch she realized she had been mourning without fully knowing it. By taking us through the dimming of hope , she brought us back to the joy of anticipating a better future together.

Michelle has a directness in her truthtellling that pierces to the core of a matter. She spoke into the core wound that supporers had felt since the Obamas left the White House that something beautiful had been sullied. We had enjoyed a moment of world-shaking history with Barack’s election in 2008 and it felt so good to those of us who saw ourselves in that better future. But the election, administration, and ongoing specter of Donald Trump have become a heavy, endarkening force on our psyches, suppressing the joy of positive change. By speaking into what has dimmed, I felt like she was helping to set hope free again in the lives of so many Beyond her words and stories, which were truly inspirational, I think this reconnection to hope as a driving polical emotion was a vital moment for all of us who had felt it waiver.

The final transformational moment for me was when Barack gave a clear-eyed assessment and pathway for healing the division in our country. The key? Mutual respect. No matter how different our beliefs and perspectives are, we need to give each other a respectful hearing. He rightly pointed out that without respectful discourse, people tune out politics and some of our best potential leaders disengage.

This is important medicine for the moment when the political culture of warfare between ideologies makes for more toxic dialogues, especially those who are more empathetic.

I could give high kudos for any number of key insights in these speeches. Doug Emhoff, Michelle and Barack Obama all offered important insights to help heal our policial culture and champion a vision of the future we can believe in. They touched us deeply with the truth and called us into effective action with “Do something.”

This was more than a political rally. This was medicine that can help shift beyond what ails us. By speaking these transformational truths, they catalyzed real recognitions and positive changes in those listening. it was a night to remember in times of challenge and a reminder that the deeper dream of America is still alive.